So tomorrow is my last chemo of adriamycin and cytoxan. I am very excited that this is the last one of these. The adremycyn is what is called the "red devil". It is the one that makes me really sick and also the one that made me lose my hair. So good riddance to you. I am glad you will be out of my life. I have been tempted to skip this one tomorrow though, but when i mention it to Chuck he gives me some statistics on how it has been proven that it is more effective if , blah, blah, blah,. and I say, "fine, fine, I will go." :-) All my nurses and doctors tell me that the next 4 treatments should be a lot easier. I hope that is true. Unlike this one, the Taxotere they say is not a nausea drug. This one is flashing joint pain. Hmmm, I think I will be able to handle that better than nausea, but we will see.
This last round of chemo was not great. I feel like I should know what to expect by now, but I also need to remember that I have only had 3, and every one was different. So I was ok on Monday and Tuesday, but when Wednesday came I really started to feel gross. The dry mouth was really bad, I had mouth sores and just a constant state of ick. I really didn’t feel like myself until Thursday of my off week., which stinks cause now I have chemo on Monday. But, it is Thanksgiving week and I need to be thankful. I need to be thankful for these chemo drugs, cause without them I don’t know how many more Thanksgivings I would be able to be here for. You never really realize how much you have to be thankful for until you go through something like this. God has really shown me in this time that I have SO much to be thankful for. My husband, son, family, friends, home, health insurance. I could be here all day naming everything that God has blessed us with. I want to come out of this a better person. A more thankful and humble person. Sometimes I feel like I complain too much about what is going on when I should just be thanking God that this is only 8 treatments and that is it. There are people who go through this for years and I only have to do this for 16 weeks. I am blessed. I am thankful that God is not finished with me yet.
Jillian,
ReplyDeleteI am there holding your hand...sending you wishes for strength and courage...and filling your day with loving thoughts!!! :-) <3.....
Chuck you are an amazing man, your strength to stand beside her, and up to her, during all of this is an inspiration to all....
Love you,
Merri
Jillian, I am glad you posted this. You have so much to be thankful for. People can tell you how extremely blessed you are and how much you have to be thankful for until they are blue in the face, but until you truly realize it for yourself it doesn't really mean much. It's hard to not complain when you are in chronic pain and discomfort. But I truly believe you will rise out of this a MUCH stronger and beautiful woman because of this. Stay focused and keep your eyes on Him... the author and finisher of our faith. LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
ReplyDeleteJill, I'm so inspired by you. I think it is only the power of God's grace that can enable anyone to be grateful in such a scary time and to write with such wisdom like you do! You are influencing the generations to come after you as well as anyone that hears about your story now. After losing my one baby and fighting for the life of his twin, a month long stay in the hospital away from my three other children and the threat of losing my own life, I can say I am so much more grateful now than I ever was. I realize that my life and the lives of my kids' are not my own. I also have experienced the love of God in a much more powerful way than I have ever known. He is truly a very present help in time of trouble. I will be lifting you and your precious family up in my prayers. The Lord is using you as a very bright light and I am blessed to know you. xo
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