Whew! If this medicine keeps working I think I can actually do this.
So yesterday was Chemo and as you can imagine I really didnt want to go. I tried to call in sick but Chuck obviously would not let me. So in I went with a better attitude than the first and just tried to joke around and get through it. It started with "oh the dreaded port." But to my surprise ( and the fact that Chuck still had feeling in his hand after) it didnt hurt. It was not fun by any means but I think I can handle the insertion of the needle if it continues to feel like that. After it was in they drew the blood they needed to check and make sure my body was ready for round 2 and yes it was so here we go. ROUND 2. We talked to the nurse and let her know how round 1 went and I explained how much it sucked. I was SO sick the first day and slowly got better the next few but they were not great. She said "well that would not do." So she said let me talk to the oncologist and see what he says about another drug. So she gave me this drug Ativan, and it has been a miracle. I went home, took 1/2 of it and went to sleep. I thought i was going to wake up and be disgustingly nauseous, BUT I DID'T. And I have not felt nauseous since. It makes me really tired but I can take that over being sick any day. So it is tuesday at 4:52 and I am still not nauseous and have been able to eat pretty normal to. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!
Sleep has also been getting so much better. The more I heal from my surgery, the better I sleep. That has been such a blessing so thank you all for praying.
On a yuckier note. My hair is starting to fall out. :-( I dont know what I thought (maybe I would be the exception to the rule and my hair would stay put), but unfornutatly I am not that person. I started noticing it in the shower when there was a lot more in my hand than usual. I have been keeping it in a pony tail to avoid touching it and keeping it there for as long as possible but I think this is all unavoidable. It is time to shave it. This is hitting me a little harder than I thought it would. Through this whole process I have been thinking " it is just hair, it will grow back". That was easier to say when it wasnt falling out but now I am getting really emotional about it. I am having a hard time thinking I am going to lose my eyebrows and eyelashes. I feel like the hair on my head is easier than those. They make your face and I dont want to look funny. But it is what it is and just another bump in the road to complete health. So I will probably shave it in the the next day or so and we are thinking that we will have Ian involved so he does not get scared of mommy with no hair. I dont want him to get freaked out the first time he sees me so if he is there watching what is happeneing maybe he will be ok with it. This is going to be so weird. I hope I have a cute head. :-)
P.S. If you are friend on Facebook you can follow my blog on there and it will give you an update when I have a new post.
I cannot tell you how glad I am that the new drugs worked! You were such a champ the first time around but I LOVE that there were other better options, definitely praise God! :)
ReplyDeletei said this last time and i will probably say it after every post i read...you are amazing! i am blown away by your incredible attitude. you are doing a great job. your heart comes out so much in this blog and i love it. you are resting in the Lord and it is really amazing. praying for you every day! - karly
ReplyDeleteThank you Jesus that this drug is working with you so much better. I feel the same way as your other friend... YOU ARE AMAZING! You are always on my mind and in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteGod is such a wonderful Daddy. He is taking care of you in a way that only He can. He loves you so much and so do I. We all do. And we are all so very proud of you. You are beautiful, inside and out... and yes, you will continue to be beautiful even without hair, eyelashes and eyebrows. As everyone else has already said, YOU'RE AMAZING.
ReplyDeleteJill, You're amazing! I will keep praying for you... you will look beautiful with or with out hair, with our with out eyelashes... You are strong and you are brave.... you are a conqueror !!
ReplyDelete-Gina
You are beautiful inside...and that is what truly matters! Hair or no hair....there are many of us who love you, just as you are! I'm glad this treatment seemed to go easier this time (relatively speaking).
ReplyDeleteI love that you are including Ian in this - he may not fully understand, but you are making his world easier...and for that, you are the best mom any little boy could hope for! Love you Jillian. Stay strong! You have a lot of people who love you, and are praying for you.
I'm glad to know such a beautiful person!
I'm so happy to hear that this new miracle drug has made it better! It was hurting my heart to know that you were going to feel so sick again...but now that's changed! God has provided and answered our prayers! :)
ReplyDeleteWe are all so proud of you! You give US the strength to carry on each day. We will love you MORE with no hair. Because that means you did it! You conquered this beast and no hair is your trophy. I have kept you posted on my co-worker. She shaved her head last week. She also had her sone involved (hes a bit older) and she let her kids shave her. While doing so, they got to make mommy their experiment. They gave her mohawks, bald spots and spikes! They had fun with it. And she is just as lovely today. Donning all her new scarves and caps. What a trooper you both are! And remember, bald is beautiful!! :)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to hear this. When you texted me the good news this morning, I almost wrecked my car I was so happy LOL. I'm sorry your hair is falling out but as usual, you are putting up a good front about it. Like you said, it's just hair but it will be tough transitioning to no hair. Think positive. You can always draw eyebrows, wear cute hats and don't have to shave anymore right? Like I said the other day, I think having Ian involved is a great plan. Maybe the whole family should shave their heads LOL. Nah, Ian's hair cut is just too cute. I would go slow, shave a little at a time, make a game out of it and I'm sure he'll be fine. We love you and are here if you need anything but it sounds like chemo weeks will be better so you've got it all covered.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you spoke up about feeling terrible. It's wonderful that they have a solution for you. And even better that it worked.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your hair. I think it's incredible how positive you've been and wonderful that you are involving Ian. Given his age, I had a thought. What if you cut your hair short first? Then he can get used to an interim stage. And so can you.
I hope you are continuing to feel okay!
You continually amaze me! I love your focus on the positive. I love and miss you and you are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day!
ReplyDeleteFast acting. Compared to Klonipon (sp?) This is much better. I was concerned taking K. since it was too sedating. I was afraid to drive if I took a whole K. After discussing K. and its side effects with my my doctor we decided Ativan would be tried. I am pleased with it.
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